A Study Of Friendship
One of the greatest blessings on earth is to have individuals who are true friends. The Bible has many references that indicate the value of a friend. Take for instance, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17). Or perhaps consider, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Eccl. 4:9-12). These words have been proven to be true time after time. A close knit and strong friendship is of tremendous value.
Unfortunately, there are lots of people who do not have an abundance of friends, or for that matter, just one trusted friend. This is truly sad. While circumstances will differ with each individual, the Bible also indicates what keeps some from true friendship. It is written, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). Too many people come across as unfriendly. Whether it is because of hatred, bitterness, envy, depression, or any other cause, if a person behaves himself unfriendly, then the odds of him having a lot of friends is very low. In other words, if I refuse to develop myself into a friendly individual, then I should not be surprised if others do not want to be friends with me. To help with this, I should regularly practice the Golden Rule. Jesus taught, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets” (Matt. 7:12). I must learn to treat people the way that I would want them to treat me. To go along with this, I should learn to be longsuffering as well. Job said, “To him that is afflicted, pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14). How many of us have been uplifted and supported by the kind words and actions of another? Have I reciprocated that practice in my life? It was Paul that wrote, “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do” (1 Thess. 5:11). If I want someone to edify me, then I ought to be edifying others. After all, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (Prov. 27:17). Also, I should learn to go the extra mile for friendship. It was Jesus who said, “And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matt. 5:40-45). Paul echoes these statements when he wrote, “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of the saints; given to hospitality. Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:9-21). I realize that is a long segment of Scripture, but practicing those great instructions can help us to be friendly to others. It can also help us to gain more friends.
With that being stated, we should also be very careful who we choose as friends. Their influence on us can be hazardous. “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (Prov. 22:24-25). Also, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Cor. 15:33). As much as good can “rub off” on another, so can evil.
Finally, let us strive to make the best friendships that we can. Friendships like David had with Jonathan, or friendships like Paul had with Timothy, are above the price of rubies. That type of friend will stand with me when I am right, and correct me when I am wrong. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses on an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6).